What to do?

I'm easily defeated, when you ask me questions.

I am never sure of my leadership. I love to organise, plan and deal with people, but I somehow hate it too.

Some of the trainers taught me to think through, some taught me to go by faith, some taught me to take up the challenge. I've no idea what are they taught now... Each and every statement seems conflicting to each another.

WHAT TO DO?!?!?!?!

Why can't you guys just look at the purpose of the event and enjoy it? Why you need to concern the effect of this event to your next event?

Is this rational or it's just an selfish act?

Think twice...

Old man, not!

Let me start a post with a question someone asked me, or you call it sarcasm.

"Eh, why your specs is senget one??? I see liao beh syok!"
Then I replied, "Senget specs and messy hair is my style..." =) >.<'"
Since I was in Form 2, people start calling me old man. Not funny...

I got no sense of fashion, I just know what is call tidy. ;) I don't care about my outlook, I don't care much about my hair, and I wear specs so that I can see.

I can't admit the statement, but I won't accept it though. I dislike young people call themselves old, and refuse to do this and that, so I won't allow myself to be like that. In year 2010, I changed a lot, everything changed, I even don't know myself now. Seriously, I lost my confidence in my leadership(or I don't have leadership at all in the first place), and I lost my impulse. I can't say that I lost my enthusiasm and passion, my heart is burning, but I just don't have the energy to move. WHY???

Let me tell you something, if you know this guy, you'll know how aggressive is him, yet he is passive. This guy is somehow lost, I never met this guy since somewhere in '09.

I never went through any formal music education before, but putting my fingers on the strings, chanter, or keys are my hobbies. I have a habit, that is dislike to play any musical instrument infront of anyone. Yeap, anyone. I don't know a lot of songs and the artist, as I don't listen a lot to those songs you listen. I prefer Christian Songs, and I play those songs. I only can play those songs when everybody either is asleep or not at home, as it gives me a perfect silence, and zero-pressure. =) But still I'm not good at playing them.

Just now when I was playing 主，恳求你, I remember there was a time, where my god-grandmother was a sick and sleep on the floor(to prevent from fall down from the bed), then everyone was not around, I played the song. She stood up and walk to somewhere and got back to the bed again. She has been lying at there for a very long time, but I call this a miracle.
"主懇求你醫治我，保守我，我終日等候仰望你。"-the last part of chorus, which pleaded God to heal us. =)

I still can write a lot actually, but I don't think anyone is willing to read. Everything on my table, anything around me, triggers my memory. Sometimes I can be lost in a conversation, I can be lost when I study, or I can be lost when I look at something, but don't be shock, because I'm just thinking of my past.

Past seems to be something that is only important to old people, but I don't think so. Young people needs to look back too, to learn something they didn't learn or realise last time, and to remind your own mistakes again, so that you don't repeat them.

I'm currently facing a lot of task, homework and revisions. I don't handle pressure well, I express it in a special(or so called stupid/crazy) way. I just wish to run away from all these. But thanks God for He taught me to live a focused life. =) So, I might look like an old man physically for these few weeks. =(


In conclusion, I'm not old! As old people don't do this:

Haha, so don't call me old man again k? ^^

Fade

Ish... I forgot how to plan...

Just now when I was doing Penang Hill Hike briefing for next week, I eventually forgot to plan a lot of things, ect. meals, things to bring, and so on.

I should have plan earlier, I should list them down and put them in the form, but no, I didn't.

I still miss my corporalship, where I did a lot of siao things during that time.

I'm not sure whether it's my memory problem or it's about my heart problem? I asked, where is my heart belongs to now? Where's my commitment?

Seriously, I don't really know who am I now. I lost my life momentum, I'm not that impulsive anymore. =(

God, can you give me back? Or there's a will in it?

Zi Hui once shared with me, "When good is gone, better is coming." Better, where are you?

华文

当我与香蕉人在一起时，我发现我越来越爱华文。

每当我跟他们去咖啡店叫东西吃时，我看到板上的华文字，我很开心。 ^^

我爱华文，因为有人看不懂。 ^^

这让我有我自己的空间。

所以，每当我用华文在写面子书或部落各写时，你就知道你有多幸福，因为你看得懂。而我所写的都可以让你知道，而不想让香蕉人知道。

也许你会觉得我很幼稚，但这就是我。

我爱华文！ =)

Game

Life is a game, it's not about winning or losing, but it's about sportsmanship.

Calculus and the teacher

I don't know why am I taking calculus. But I found it interesting and fun!

Ok ok, straight to the point.

The teacher is C**. It's very important, because it explains the trigonometry rules.

Do you remember ASTC? All Science Teacher Crazy/All mathS Teacher Crazy? That's only a stupid theory, I'm here to share you the original and the real one. A Siao Teacher C**. =) ^^ Thanks to One Kind...

Btw, C** lives few km away from my house only... But then tuition from her cost my life, RM100 per hour. =(

She's cool. Whenever you find calculus hard, you tell her, and you'll get a very cool answer, which I quote it now. =)

Let me end with the quote:

"Don't know how to do ar? Drop the subject lar!"

walao eh >.<'"

I wish to

I wish to capture every scene I see,
Before I blind;
I wish to record every taste of candy and food,
Before my taste buds fade.

I wish to listen and record the voices and sounds into my memory,
Before I deaf.
I wish to smell everything that is nice,
So that I will enjoy it after I can't smell anymore.

I wish to feel and enjoy everything I do,
especially when I sleep,
when I eat, when I play and when I talk,
Because I don't want to regret later.

The moment before I blind,
The moment before I deaf,
The moment before I'm tasteless,
The moment before I mute,
The moment before everything,
I just wish to remember all those things,
as I might not able to do that anymore after.